Between friend zones and mixed signals and people just being nice for the sake of being nice, how can you tell if someone like likes you?

The short answer? You can’t. That is unless you ask them. But there are a few subtle signs you can look for to help you feel more confident that someone really likes you.

Because — after being in seven relationships — I’ve experienced the shift from wondering, “do they like me” to “oh, our mouths are touching,” many times. I’ve found that people act in certain ways when they really like someone.

But I will warn you of two things. Sometimes, when you’re close to a situation, you’ll start to read too much into a person’s behaviors. They could just really like you as a friend.

The other is that not all people will show the same behaviors. Personally, I shy away from making eye contact with someone I like, even when they’re confident in making it with me.

So while this article won’t help you know without a shadow of a doubt (because trust me, no article can), these signs can give you a bit of hope. And with that hope, you can work up the courage to ask someone how they feel about you:

They laugh at your jokes.

Have you ever thought someone liked you because they hung on every word that came out of your mouth and laughed at all your jokes? If so, you’re a great dating detective because that’s a top sign someone likes you.

When we date a new person, what’s known as the “halo effect” happens. The moment someone begins to think you’re attractive, they can’t help but see you in a positive light in other ways.

They’ll think you’re funnier, smarter, and more ambitious than someone who isn’t attracted to you, which means that those moments when you say something dumb or trip walking next to them probably weren’t as embarrassing in their eyes.

They’re too caught up in all your positive aspects to have noticed.

They try to sit near you.

Or attend the parties you go to and invite you on different plans. When someone likes you, chances are they’re going to want to do whatever’s needed to be around you.

I once had a guy friend who consistently invited me to all the plans he made with our mutual guy friends. I figured he was just being nice, but it turned out that he wanted to try and be more than friends.

While I wouldn’t take the opposite of sitting near you as an indicator that someone doesn’t like you (because frankly, I’d be too shy to be that bold), the fact someone wants to always be around you is a great sign they very much enjoy your company.

You catch them looking at you, a lot.

When you’re out at a bar together or playing games with a group of friends, do you catch them looking at you? Even if they’re quickly looking away, that could be a good sign that they’re romantically interested in you.

When we like someone, we can’t help but do certain things. One of those behaviors is catching glimpses of the person we’re attracted to.

I said it above that I have trouble making eye contact with people I like. But at the same time, that doesn’t mean I won’t look at them when they’re busy or talking to someone else.

So while mutual eye contact might be hard for someone who’s shy or has trouble with it, catching them looking at you is a better indicator.

They ask you a lot of questions.

Regardless of romantic attraction, when a person is interested in another person, they ask questions. It’s like if you had lunch with an author you admire or were catching up with your favorite aunt.

You ask questions to understand them more. The conversation flows because you’re interested in what they have to say.

When someone likes you, they’ll do the same. They’ll find reasons to strike up conversations and ask you questions about your family, job, interests, and other seemingly unimportant topics.

Because, to them, all of the aspects of you are interesting.

They’ll slide into your DMs (in a non-creepy way).

If they’re on social media, you’ll probably catch someone who likes you liking your photos and watching your stories. If you find that someone reacts to your content or messages you about random things, it could indicate that they want to talk to you more.

When my boyfriend and I started dating, he would message me memes throughout the day that he thought I’d like. He’d continue the conversation by asking how my day was and talking about his.

Sure, this could just be a sign of a solid friendship, but usually, you only pop into someone’s mind regularly when they think of you as more than a friend.

They mirror your behaviors.

Have you ever hung out with a friend long enough that you start saying certain things as they do? Or act in the same way as them?

That’s a phenomenon known as mirroring. It’s a way to connect with other people. But in romantic attraction, mirroring is much stronger. It’s a natural reaction when your body wants to feel more connected to a person.

If you notice them fold their arms at the same time as you or take sips of water whenever you do, it’s not to annoy you. In fact, the other person probably doesn’t realize they’re doing it.

But that simple behavior can be a sign they’re attracted to you as more than a friend.

The next time you’re around your crush, look for these signs. Do they strike up conversations with you, stare while they think you’re not looking, copy your behaviors, or choose the seat closest to you?

If so, then you may have a romantic attraction on your hands.

While the signs are usually obvious when someone likes you, if you feel confident that the odds are in your favor, simply asking is your best bet. It may be scary to be rejected, but the more you overcome this fear, the easier it gets.

By Kirstie Taylor